Husbands

Husbands are the poor guys who are always at the tail end of a woman’s ridicule.  
“Oh your husband does the washing, send him over to train mine.”

“Men they just can’t multi task.” 

I’m here to stick of for those men, more importantly, my husband. 

We had a fairly normal dating life, nothing extravagant, just talked A LOT, like an unhealthy amount so we know everything about each that their was to know about 6 month’s in and then boom! He shocked me by asking me to marry him. To which I was over the moon and said yes. Shortly after we were married. Then we made an even more grown up step and just over 1 year of marriage we’d mortgaged a house and fallen pregnant  (badly timed but these things never are timed well) 

Then it all went belly up, I caught pneumonia, hospitalised, Lydia was born early, both in hospital, then just Lydia in hospital, home, hospital again, Bristol hospital and then hopefully back to derriford…. 

If you read that and you think oh poor girlie’s but actually this is a shout out to Josh Eg Daddy

He’s been our rock and the one driving to and from the hospital, the one getting it in the ear from work, the one who at one point had no one healthy enough to be at home with him. 

Then he had it all for 3 glorious weeks as family where we could be normal (ish) and then again it’s taken from him and he has to come to hospital again to see his family…. 

Though this all has he complaine? Nope not once.  Has he blamed me? A million times no. Has he just supported us through everything. Definitely a giant yes! 

Josh is super man. I couldn’t be prouder to be your wife! Thank you for your love and support!! 

It’s okay

Two words I’ve uses more than I could ever have imagined to both my husband and my daughter. Most of the time it’s been a lie. I never knew if it was going to be okay but it gave some comfort to my family to hear the pessimist be a bit optimistic. 
Recently in PICU I said it to my daughter. She was ventilated and coming off her sedation so she was more aware of her surrounding. This scared her. It would scare you. One minute you’re having cuddles with mummy and the next you have a tube down your mouth in a weird hospital. She know us but didn’t smile, a skill she had learnt just before being intubated. After weeks of agonising separation one of the nurses said we could have her our for a cuddle. As lovely as this was it was daunting as there wasn’t a part of her without a tube or wire (more than when she was in NICU) but I was desperate to hold my baby.

The whole time I held her she cried. Completely poured her heart out, which hurt me. I couldn’t do anything. I cried. I really didn’t know what to do! I just held her and told her it would be okay full well knowing that we had no idea if she would even come off the ventilator. I also thanked her for fighting so hard for mummy and daddy. Then came the hardest thing I’d ever done  I told her if it was too much we’d still be proud of her but we are more than willing for her to give up and have a well deserved rest with her nana, great grandad and faith (to name a few).

She was suffering and she was telling me how hard it was by sobbing in my arms. She was crying with no sound. Only tears down her face.  

This moment stands put to me more than ever as shortly after that she made a huge recovery and came off the ventilator. 

As a family we’ve given so much for each other. That can never been taken from us. We’ve fought literally for our lives and we’re coming out the other end stronger and more exhausted than ever but we’re the strongest family you’ve ever met. 

Lydia thank you for fighting for us! We cherish every precious day with you and will try to give you a safe and easy life full of love!