If I had to write about my year like they do on the back of DVD’s I think it would go along the lines of this 
“Utterly gripping tale of tragedy”

“I didn’t know what would happen next. I was completely hooked”

“Get your tissues ready as it’s an emotional rollercoster” 

Obviously it would have a 5* review but oh my I wouldn’t wish my year even on my worst enemy. 

The preview would then go like this

Seriously ill pregnant mum is rushed to hospital on 15 liters of oxygen in January at 24 weeks pregnant. She is admitted to the intensive care section of a respiratory ward with pneumonia. Her condition stabilises and they hope to section the baby at 34 weeks however baby has other plans and arrives naturally into the world at 28 weeks and 4 days old. Baby spends 3 months in NICU while mum spends another month in hospital. Baby and mum get home with daddy for 3 weeks in May until they are back in hospital for 5 weeks. Baby is then ventilated and transfered to Bristol, in July, where they spend 3 months and got the diagnosis of SAVI. It is now October and they are back in their local hospital. Will they be home for Christmas? How will they deal with this rare genetic disease? 

Sounds like quite a good film when I put it that way but there was so much more human emotional involved. When you have a baby it’s ment to be happy and lovely time where family come over to coo over the baby that you don’t want to give up. You’re ment to sit on the sofa in pain in your pj’s looking at this little life you created. Instead I got home (with still a very tiny baby) but I had NICU nurses round every other day and because I could tell that they didn’t believe I was a fit enough mum. I made sure I was up and dressed by 8am even if Lydia was asleep. I made sure the house looked nice and then once they left we crashed out together. Life was just exhausting for us as we had support over media ect but for some reason we always get ignored or missed out in person. 

The worst bit about this year is that it was the year Lydia was born. I can think of more bad things than good associated with this year and I always just want to completely forget what happened, however, it’s the year my baby was born. That is a good reason to remember it.

2018 may not be much better for us as a family but I do know that this point next year I will have a happy and loved one year old (nearly 2) and and adored husband whose age I will omit for fear of scaring him! 
I’m entering the new year with a level head, taking each day as it comes with its trials but I plan to make the most of having Lydia at home whenever she is. 

I’m the world’s luckiest mum and I truly believe she’s still here because she fought for Josh and I. 

Happy and healthy 2018 to all our friends and family (emphasis on the healthy for you all)

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