My experience of birth was a MILLION times different to what I had expected, plus contracting pneumonia at 26 weeks wasn’t on the card’s.

Lydia Rose Morgan born 8th February 2017 at 23:59 at 28 weeks and 4 days old. Born naturally and breech (obviously the way she planned to continue. She’s always doing things the wrong way round)

I don’t think I’d ever been so scared in my whole life as I kissed her tiny head as she was taken away to NICU.

One thing I did know was that she was going to be okay. I knew in my heart that she was going to fight through and she didn’t disappoint.

Lydia at one months old (32 weeks) having her oxygen and feeding tube changed over. She was doing so well at this point we thought she would come home off oxygen. She showed us she was a fighter every time we saw her.

Two months old (36 weeks). She was completely gorgeous and loved her sleepy cuddles.

Three months (Term). We got our gorgeous girl home. She was 3.4 kg she wore tiny baby clothes and was in size 1 nappies. She was also on 0.06 liters of oxygen.

We were chuffed to bits! We finally had a full house like its ment to be after you have a baby.

Four months. Things weren’t going too well. Lydia was struggling to gain weight so the feeding tube went back down and we were in hospital.

Five month’s. Still struggling with weight and also not tolerating the amount of milk given to her. I never left her side.

We were shipped off to bristol shortly after this as she was moved to derrifords HDU and couldn’t hold her saturations on opti flow or CPAP. She then fought the CPAP that the watch team hoped to transport her on so she ended up being ventilated and transfered on that. Relying on a ventilator to keep her breathing while travelling for 2 hours in an ambulance terrified me as she was rocked so if something happens she’s too out of it to breathe anyway.

Those memories haunt me to this very day.

Six months. Our toughest challenge yet. Our baby ventilated for a month in PICU in Bristol children’s hospital. (Picture of her on opti flow as I don’t like the ventilated pictures)

Seven months. Still in Bristol struggling to get off opti flow but still being quite happy in herself. This is when she started to show some character like when she was at home. She became our smiley girly again.

Eight months. Ward 30 in Bristol became our home. We tried to make the most of it. We managed to get outdide as a family twice in our 3 month stay and both times were miserably rainy. Obviously…. we live in England.

Nine months. Back to derriford and on low flow oxygen finally! A step closer to home.

Ten months. Christmas and WE’RE HOME!

I have never been able to find the words to describe how I felt walking back through the front door as a family. I was overjoyed but this was all overshadowed by the fear of ending up back in hospital. Every visit from the community nurse sent me into a panic thinking she was going to be taken from me again. However I stopped thinking that way and went for the take each day as it comes approach and before I knew it a month had flown by.

Eleven months. Another wonderful month at home with my baby. Lydia started to become a little person. It’s like the hospital finally left her memory. She is happy and talking like nothing ever happened. She’s 6.61 kg she wears size 3 nappies and is in 0-3 month clothes.

As were currently on the lead up to her first birthday I really can’t believe how much shes done and how well she’s fought. She keeps me going.

I recently read the news about another kardashian baby being born and it filled me with complete jealousy as I find it infuriating that someone like that would get to carry term and spend all day everyday with their child and I had to visit my child in NICU and PICU. News like this always brings out the worst in me but that’s because Lydia deserved so much more. I don’t know of many children who’ve spent 9 months in the first year of their life in hospital and suffered so much pain.

However what I do know is that Lydia is worth it and I cherish every moment with her. I might not have had everything I dreamed for pregnancy wise (for Lydia and I) but I do know that she’s so incredibly special that she’s worth a place on this earth more than a million healthy celebrity babies.

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